Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Trump to Reality Dictionary

In these uncertain times, it can be so hard to separate fact from fiction, especially when our Sentient Cheeto Overlord drops one of his famous word turds. 

Well wonder no more! O.H.M. has taken the liberty (while she still has it) of creating this handy Trump-to-Reality pocket dictionary for your convenience. Now every time Lord Dampnut tweets or says something/anything, you'll know exactly what it means in reality:

Sad!: Happy!
Very Sad!: Kind of Happy!
Great: Bad
Bad: Good
Weak: Strong
Strong: Weak
Terrible!: Wonderful!
Beautiful: Hideous 
Amazing: Boring
Fantastic: Mediocre
Disaster!: No Big Deal.
Extreme Vetting: Unconstitutional Deportation 
Enjoy!: Despise!
Massive Voter Fraud: A Few Black and Latino People Trying to Vote 
Imploding: Holding Steady
Fake News: Semi-Credible Information
Lie: Truth
Alternative Fact: Regular Lie
Tremendous: Miniscule
Horrible: Fabulous
Amazing: Mediocre
Very Unfair!: Quite Fair, Actually
Very Rich: Kinda Bankrupt 
Huge Deal: Big Nothing
Disavow: Dog Whistle
Look at What's Happening in/with XYZ: Please for Your Own Sanity Ignore What I'm About to Say Regarding XYZ
Great Discussion: Staged Photo Op
Productive Meeting: Golf Game at Mar-a-Lago
Paid Protesters: Volunteer Grandmas
Taxes: Shmaxes
New Low: FISA Warrant
Tapped Wires: Microwaved Ramen


  1. I didn't say that: I did, but go fuck yourself!

  2. Actually, his wires were merely TAPED together and they went to ground, where they belong.

  3. Sentient? SENTIENT? I have flowers with more brains and they're better looking. My dog's shit is smarter.
    I don't think that word means what you think it means.


    You are a very funny lady.


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