Thursday, May 3, 2018

Sorry About Meltdown Mode


I’m not feeling very good about my past 24 hours on the internet you guys. Truth be told I’m full-on PMS'ing, but that’s no excuse.

This happens from time to time. Considering how many words I write, I will inevitably regret some of them, but I make a point to be able to say with a straight face that I stand behind every word I put into the public sphere. I’ve probably only deleted three or four blog posts ever based on reader response, and yesterday’s post about Paige and body-positive parenting was one of them.

A lot of people—most people—responded positively to it. But one person pointed out that it was “all sorts of fucked up wrongness” and their underlying point was TOTALLY RIGHT, which is why I got so upset. (They also implied that I’m a self-promoter, which is maybe ALSO a tiny bit right, but only because I like to connect with people, not because I want to make money or be famous). 

The truth is that I didn’t get Paige’s permission to talk about her feelings or her weight in public and she is ten, and I am not going to do that anymore. The way this person came for me was mean and nasty, but their basic substantive point was 100% correct, so I took down the post. I did figure out who this person was, and their comment was publicly available before I rage-deleted the post. 

Still, I don’t believe in outing or shaming my critics, especially when they have a valid point. I take enough abuse on the internet myself, and while I sorta feel like you should be able to take it if you dish it out, and not hide behind a keyboard, at the same time I also think an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Bottom line: the combo of being called out correctly but in a super stank and nasty way on day two of my period was too fucking much for me.

But it did make me think about a certain weird phenomenon in Juneau. Plenty of people have squared up with me on here. And then when I see them in person, they act like everything is normal, and it’s just fucking weird. This, I know, happens to almost everyone who lives in a small town. In court, on the highway, at assembly meetings, etc. My work life is hostile enough, but at least there I get paid to traffick in hostility. I just can’t handle hostility in my personal hobby life, so occasionally I have a stage 5 nuclear meltdown and I am sorry for that.

I have also met a lot of amazing people through this blog, which is by FAR the best thing about it, INCLUDING people who have been Mean to Me on the Internet™ and with whom I have had several satisfying “truth and reconciliation” coffee dates. I am happy to do that at anytime with anyone. And I am also happy to meet any blog reader for coffee or a drink at any time. I’ve done this a lot, and it’s always wonderful.


  1. Always up for coffee or (better yet) drinks with you, Libby, whether you’re posting or pms’ing. You have my cell #, yes? Xoxo Minta

  2. I think blogging by its very nature is self promoting and there’s nothing wrong with that. Why else would anyone do it? Also, I hope you make money at it because you are a great writer and very funny and you should get paid for things you’re good at. Promote away.

    Anyway, I really like your writing and tweets and will keep reading them.

  3. you think those of us who read and appreciate a blog called One Hot Mess expect less than an occasional meltdown? I’m good with that and TRULY appreciate your ability to self reflect. Cheers!

  4. Adulting is hard and complicated, but thankfully unlike the lottery you don't need to get all the answers right to win. Though I didn't get to read the original post,it takes a big person to write about the experience in the way you did and to publicly (and politely) admit a harsh criticism had a valid point. Ya done good! Hope you're feeling better soon.


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