Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Holy Fuckety Shitnuts! This Book Was Published in 2012 and It's For Real!

Wow you guys. This O.H.M. book review is going to be awesome. 

Let me say right up front that I don't plan to actually order or read this book. Rather, in typical "things-they-tell-you-not-to-do-in-second-grade fashion," I'm just gonna go right ahead and judge this one by its cover. 

Here's Amazon's description of this guide to modern sexual, religious, and gender-based oppression, with a foreword by Candace Cameron Bure, a.k.a. DJ from Full House, a.k.a. Kirk Cameron's little sister. The Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains who now has his own faith-based coffee brand and thinks ISIS and Planned Parenthood are in cahoots. (I wish these kids would've stuck to crappy '80's television. But I digress). Now for the summary:
In The Good Wife's Guide New York Times best-selling author Darlene Schacht encourages women to joyfully serve their families. In doing so she offers reasons for achieving a well-managed home backed by scripture and gleaned from experience. As well she provides readers with detailed cleaning and organizing schedules for practical application. The Good Wife's Guide encourages women to make faith and family their first priorities from a place of sacrificial love. It reminds women that they were created with a specific purpose in mind, which is that of being a help meet. In supporting our husbands and living in unity we reflect God's blueprint for marriage. If you like books on organization and housekeeping, this book is for you!
Well. This is news to me. I'm certainly not judging anyone for their religious beliefs, nor am I judging anyone for being a really good stay-at-home wife and mother, which as I have said before is the hardest job there is in my opinion.

The beef I have with this premise is the idea that women "were created with a specific purpose in mind, which is that of being a help meet" a.k.a. your man's #1 Gal Friday. And the idea that we have to be encouraged to "joyfully serve" our families "from a place of sacrificial love." It sounds just a wee bit concubine-esque, does it not? Like we are not actual human beings with free agency or choice, but were literally put on earth to serve a man.

And if that's the case, I have seriously been fucking up "God's blueprint" for me. I have total gender reversal in my household and secretly sometimes forget what days during the week my kids have soccer practice and swimming. I'm not proud of that, but it's the truth. 

Because guess what?  I am an individual who was created with a specific purpose in mind, and that purpose was to find a way to suppress my substantial neuroses in order to become a semi-productive member of society and support my family within the parameters of my strengths and weaknesses. Strengths which include reading, talking, studying, listening, cursing, drinking, and being a lawyer; and weaknesses which include literally almost everything else.

So there you have it folks. O.H.M.'s Guide to Being a Good Wife. 

1 comment:

  1. What's a help meet? Did spell check replace help meat?


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