There once was a cracker from Italy
Who was colonialism’s epitome
He sailed the wrong way
Yet got his own holiday
Upon robbing some cultures of dignity.
He thought he was in Indochine
And reported this back to the queen
He refused to admit
His GPS was for shit
It was quite a ridiculous scene.
Bottom line, Chris was a dick
And a megalomaniacal prick
Who raided some cultures
Like a circling vulture
It was quite a detestable trick.
Columbus no more found this land
Than his dick found the palm of his hand
So it’s time that we say
And take an appropriate stand.
Alaska is leading the way
And is one of the first states to say
Columbus Day is no more
His name’s an ear sore
It’s Indigenous Peoples Day.