Friday, June 5, 2015

Maneurisms

Coming home from work yesterday, I heard someone on the radio say "maneurism" when he clearly meant "mannerism." 

As it so happened, that someone was a member of a KISS tribute band who was here in Juneau to perform two shows; he was describing his immitations of the band members' "maneurisms."

Naturally, my first thought was what an amazing word this was, and how I had to think up several definitions for it right away. My second thought was that someone has probably already done exactly that.

So as soon as I got home, I consulted the millenial Strunk & White.

According to Urban Dictionary, a maneurism is: 

(n.) A melodramatic or conniption-like reaction to the (mis)behavior of a male companion, paramour, or significant other.


But I actually think that's a lame definition, and that there are many superior alternative definitions for this word, all of them nouns, and all of them focused on the beahvior of the man, rather than on that of a hysterical woman who is having a "maneurism." (Btw: this was also clearly a hetero definition; all of the examples after it were women going ballistic on some dude).
 

Here are my definitions:

(n.) A melodramatic or conniption-like testosterone-driven reaction to:

1. the outcome of a sports game
2. the breakdown of some part of a car.
3. the absence or malfunctioning of a needed tool.
4. being overcharged for something.
5. a woman being inattentive.
6. a woman being TOO attentive.
7. being totally gender-stereotyped in popular culture and on the internet.
8. being in an underappreciated KISS tribute band.

Come on now. Admit it! Those are all so much better. Or, at least as accurate as Urban Dictionary's definition.

Dontcha think?

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