Friday, June 19, 2015

Shamefully Misaligned Priorities of Thought

Alaska is in the grip of some of the worst wildfires in years and it's pretty scary. Thousands of acres of forest have burned and people and animals have been displaced from their homes in the Mat-Su Valley and on the Kenai Peninsula. 

So you would think my mind would not immediately turn where it did when I saw the below photos on Facebook. 

Or maybe you would.

A bunch of firefighters are coming from Wyoming to help fight the Alaska wildfires. Here's what I should have thought: That's awesome and amazing. How brave they are and I hope they succeed in putting out the fires safely and quickly with minimal damage to life and/or limb. 

Now I DID ultimately have that thought, but not before I had these thoughts first:

Wow, that is a plane full of the hottest dudes EVER! . . .
If that plane crashes, the sexy quotient in the sky will PLUMMET . . .
Why are you thinking about that at a time like this? . . .
OMG. I wish I was 25 and single so I could go meet these guys in a bar . . .
What makes you think you would have the guts to flirt with them even if you WERE 25 and single? . . .
Don't you remember how much you hated your 20's? . . .
And that you actually weren't even single for most of them?  . . .
What the fuck is wrong with you?  . . .
You're 37 and married with two kids and a mortgage, and thinking about sexy firefighters from Wyoming. Get a grip . . . 
No but seriously, I bet they get beers when they're done fighting fires for the day . . . 
And then SOMEONE has to flirt with them, right? . . .
But you're nowhere near the wildfires . . .
And even if you were you don't go to bars . . .
You're an idiot. They're fighting a WILDFIRE ALL NIGHT AND DAY. They don't have time to drink and flirt with you! . . .
Huh. They all sort of look the same, but also they are all very hot  . . .
I bet every last one of them is fucking dynamite in the sack . . .
Too bad YOU'LL never know . . .
That sunglasses and baseball hat look never gets old . . .
Not even on old dudes really . . . 
Especially with beards . . .
God I love beards . . .
Look, there's that one grizzled guy who looks like he's 55 . . .
Even HE looks hot . . .
Maybe just because they're firefighters and you can't NOT be hot if you're a firefighter? . . .
Especially of FOREST fires . . .
Maybe they make a Wyoming Hotshots beefcake calendar?
OMG you are such a desperate housewife loser . . .
Seriously that's awesome and amazing . . . 
How brave they are and I hope they succeed in putting out the fires safely and quickly with minimal damage to life and/or limb . . .
Wow I wish I had a buzz going now . . .
Time to take care of that . . .
Oh look who had a baby! . . .
Wait. WHAT?! They named her THAT?!
OMG more bad news . . .
The world is so sad . . . 
I hate the Facebook news feed . . .
Righty-O. Time to take care of that buzz. 


1 comment:

  1. As someone who was a firefighter for years, hope you like Copenhagen. And no showers. :)

    ReplyDelete