Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Things I'm Just Saying the KKK Might Wish to Consider Before Trying to Assert White Supremacy

Yesterday, Politico reported that the Ku Klux Klan, a.k.a. the KKK, a.k.a. Kooks, Krackheads, and Krispy Kleenex (defined by Urban Dictionary as "the morning-after crusty paper tissue evidence left by the bedside after cleaning up ejaculate") is holding a rally on South Carolina Statehouse grounds to protest "the Confederate flag being took [sic] down for all the wrong reasons." The KKK chapter planning the rally has a website that reads: "most groups out there and especially white people are to [sic] cowardly to stand up for their heritage."


I have some thoughts the KKK might wish to consider before trying to assert their racial and cultural supremacy over the rest of us inferior races.

If you're in the market to be the planet's superior anglo race, you might want to start with learning how to speak English. For example, it might behoove you to properly conjugate the verb "to take" if you're going to TAKE over America. 

In a similar vein, you might want TO learn the difference between "to," "too," and "two." After all, you're trying TO take over the country before it's TOO late and TOO many other races pollute the ONE and only supreme bloodline that can only be ONE, and not TWO.

Right off the top of my head I can think of a bunch of Jews, blacks, Catholics, and LGBT people (all of whom you want to see wiped off the planet) who know second grade grammar. So I'm afraid you've got some catching up to do in this area.

Also, as the superior race, now might be a good time to revisit that ghetto-ass ghost uniform, because it looks like something my mom sewed for me on October 30, 1980. What superior race goes around dressed like Casper the Friendly Ghost? This look is SO not runway ready, much less supreme-race-ready.

Finally, now might be the time to reconsider some of your organizational titles. Grand Titans? Imperial Wizards? Grand Dragons? Loyal White Knights? C'mon KKK! This isn't Hogwarts or Game of Fucking Thrones! This is America you're taking over, not Middle Earth!

If you don't address at least some of these issues, you risk living up to your name and looking to the whole entire world like the jizz-encrusted, Krispy Kleenex that you are.

Just saying.

A member of the American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan waves the Confederate flag during a klan rally on the steps of the Warrick County courthouse in Boonville, Ind., on Saturday, Oct. 17, 1998. (AP Photo/Evansville Press, Jonna Spelbring)

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