Sunday, March 6, 2016

No Water!

Somehow my kids have figured out that the #1 fail-safe procrastination tool in the battle of kids v. parents is to ask us for water. 

It's like somehow they know: Saying "no" to water--ever--is IMPOSSIBLE for people who struggle to deny gum and vending machine snack mixes; who let kids roller blade through dinner; and who could write a treatise on the art of the empty threat.

No matter the unpleasant activity, it can be put off with a request for the only substance that is literally the foundation of all known life in the universe.

It's bedtime. CAN I HAVE SOME WATER? It's time to brush your teeth. CAN I HAVE A GLASS OF WATER? We need to clean up now. CAN I HAVE WATER FIRST? Time to get in the car to go anywhere. CAN I JUST HAVE ONE SIP OF WATER PLEEEASE?!

The timing of their scorching thirst is just a little too convenient, methinks.

You would think we weren't lucky enough to have running water and (arguably) unlucky enough to live in a rain forest. But truly: what beast, what atrocious criminally negligent hag of a mother and/or tyrant of a father would say NO to WATER?!

See what I mean? These kids have it all figured out.

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