Wednesday, March 2, 2016

New Hampshire Legislator to Women: Your Nipples Are More Dangerous than Daddy-Rape and Assault Rifles

Another day, another old man squawking that lady nips and titties are the harbinger of the apocalypse

This time, the squawk comes to us courtesy of New Hampshire legislator Brian Gallagher, a crusty old mofo who is leading a brave "movement to change the values of New Hampshire society." 

Among other things, Representative Gallagher is deeply concerned that female nips will destroy New Hampshire's tourism industry. Because obvi, no one wants to see titties on a beach (except every straight man and boy alive, and every baby who needs to eat breakfast).

B. Galls wants to make it a misdemeanor for women to expose their nips in public with "reckless disregard" for "whether a person would be offended or alarmed by such an act." 

Here's what he said about his super essential legislation that would put a lady's titties behind bars for a few days:
I filed the bill on behalf of moms and dads, grandparents, with young children, that felt as though this kind of behavior in public places that all people are entitled to share is not the direction that the live-free-or-die state wants to embrace,” Gallagher said earlier, according to the Concord Monitor. It's a shame that some folks are more concerned with exposing their breasts in public places than they are concerned about how families and children may be impacted by being forced to experience this evolving societal behavior.
First of all, exposed titties are totally the direction the live free or die state needs to embrace! Living free means embracing free nipples, otherwise we should all drop dead! Also, aren't children the demographic who most needs to be exposed to tits? Isn't the whole point of titties to feed the children? 

Second, this is more "think of the children" titty-Sharia law red-herring bullshit from a legislator with some conspicuously inconsistent views on what constitutes "reckless disregard" for what would "offend or alarm" a reasonable person---to say nothing of the "kind of behavior in public places that all people are entitled to share."

See, I did a little research into B. Gall's positions on various issues, and discovered (extremely unsurprisingly) that they are arguably more offensive, alarming, and reckless than one square-inch of exposed lady flesh. 

Por ejemplo:

1. He thinks abortion should be illegal even if a woman is raped by her dad and the pregnancy will kill her in the first trimester.

2. He wants to reduce benefits for Medicaid recipients, and hates the gays with a passion as he is anti same-sex marriage and pro-discriminating against gay and transgender peeps.

3. He wants peeps to buy guns with zero restrictions, including background checks, and thinks people should be able to carry concealed guns anywhere they damn please without a license or permit.

B. Galls' personal motto is "Life is a Gift from our God! Our Creator is in control of Life, not man!"

Well, if God is in charge, then maybe God should be the one to decide whether a woman's nipple is more offensive and alarming than: (1) A rape victim being forced to carry her dad's baby and then die 8 weeks into the pregnancy; or (2) A person being allowed to buy an AR-15 assault rifle like it was a pack of Peanut M&M's and carry it--exposed--on the same New Hampshire beaches where horrible and offensive exposed female nipples are destroying polite society.

Clearly, B. Galls is deeply concerned for how "families and children may be impacted by being forced to experience this evolving societal behavior," but frankly, God might disagree with him about the source of those adverse impacts.

Bravo, B. Galls. Bra-fuckin' vo.

Brian Gallagher

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