While shopping for a dress this weekend for a friend's wedding, I noticed an extremely disturbing trend: the models featured on the websites of numerous clothing retailers appear to be subtly crying out for help. Here's what I think they are wordlessly trying to tell us, and I think we should listen:
"Someone please turn off this fan and put my arms back on the right way. Thanks in advance!"
"Don't mind me, just checking for ticks."
"Don't tell the hospital I signed out against medical advice, k?"
"I'm so over this Secret Service/modeling job."
"The curtain from this window is eating me alive."
"Ugh, I def missed a hair shaving my right armpit."
"I am so uncomfortable existing as a human pretzel smushed up inside of a box for no apparent reason."
"Mom, staaaaaaaaaahp. You're embarrassing me."
"Don't be afraid. Wait. Where are you going?"
"Nothing's wrong, why? I always stand around in my jean jacket like this."
"Huddling together for warmth while naked on a wooden palette: #SquadGoals!"
"Seriously the L train takes for fucking EVER on the weekends."
"Hypothetically speaking, if you were going to be murdered, wouldn't you want your murderer to be someone who rocks guy liner? Asking for a friend."