Friday, November 13, 2015

Nice Work, Madison Avenue!

Whoa you guys. Bloomingdales really stepped in it this time. Check out the ad that just ran in their fall catalog:

Lady Internet has been rightly ablaze with WORDS for the luxury department store, who apparently thinks it's totes cool (and might even sell a scarf or two) if Creepy McHerpes and his soul patch over there leers at his "best friend," and then tries to get under her pencil skirt by drugging her eggnog "when she's not looking."

Ya know. Like you do.

Bloomingdales has since apologized for the ad as being in poor taste, but like, that's what friends do, is it not? At least in my opinion, that's how you show someone you really care about them and that their friendship really means something to you: You accept that you've been "friend zoned" in sobriety, but the friend zone becomes the END zone once she's unwittingly shitface-wasted on eggnog! Now that's a true act of friendship.

I gotta ask myself though: what were the rejected tag lines for this ad campaign? "Don't forget: the best Christmas ball ornaments are your own?" Or maybe," If ifs and buts were roofies and sluts we'd all have a marvelous Christmas?" Or, "Don't let your BFF be Ebeneezer Scrooge with her pussy. You don't deserve that lump of coal." Perhaps, "I'm looking at you like a Christmas goose for a reason, and you will soon discover what that reason is the minute you take a sip of that eggnog over there,?" "Stuff her stocking?"

Numerous peeps have pointed out that it is quite likely a woman who came up with this ad campaign, and so it's kind of OK, because as everyone knows, women are totes incapable of perpetuating, promoting, and exploiting misogynistic rape culture in order to sell other women clothes and shit.

Slow clap, Madison Ave. Suhlooooow clap.

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