Monday, November 9, 2015

One Million Moms Are Pissed at American Girl for Featuring Two Gay Dads Raising Four Foster Kids and They're Not Gonna Take It!

You guys. 

Things have been super busy lately, what with the whole Starbucks red cup scandal and a deficient level of java-based Jesus. But don't worry: the fine upstanding citizens of 'Murica still have plenty of time to take on Big Doll.

A reader recently sent me this article from The Washington Post, reporting that a group called One Million Moms is up in (baby doll plastic) arms at the popular toy company American Girl.  

In case you haven't heard of One Million Moms, here's what they're all "about" according to their website:
Mom, are you fed up with the filth many segments of our society, especially the entertainment media, are throwing at our children? Are you tired of all the negative influences our children are forced to contend with? If so, we urge you to become a member of Our goal is to stop the exploitation of our children, especially by the entertainment media (TV, music, movies, etc.). Mom, is the most powerful tool you have to stand against the immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity the entertainment media is throwing at your children. It is time to fight back! We are searching for one million moms who are willing to join the fight for our children. We want our children to have the best chance possible of living in a moral society.
YES! TESTIFY! I hate ALL that shit--especially vulgarity and profanity. Fuck that cock-sucking motherfucking bullshit!

Anyway, I've definitely given American Girl the O.H.M. treatment before, gleefully mocking their $60 allergy-friendly plastic food and $40 doll-sized ski set, all of which cost twice as much as their life-sized counterparts. 

But I'm behind them all the way on this one.

American Girl recently profiled the Scheer family of Darnestown, MD: two gay men who are parents to four children adopted from foster care, one of whom is 11 year-old Amaya. Amaya was recently featured in the American Girl Magazine, where she tells the story of finding her permanent adoptive home and her family's charitable work in foster care.

Well, one million busy moms apparently have time to mount a call to action against a doll company for profiling a family that isn't June and Ward Cleaver. Take note! One Million moms thinks the foster care/adoption thing is fine, but the two dads part? Ummm . . . not so much. Here's what they said about that:
1MM supports adoption and taking care of orphans as we are biblically instructed to do in Psalm 82:3, but American Girl could have focused the article on the child and not about the parents since it is a magazine for children. The magazine also could have chosen another child to write about and remained neutral in the culture war. American Girl is attempting to desensitize our youth by featuring a family with two dads. If your child has not seen this yet, then be careful she is not exposed and can avoid a premature conversation she is far too young to understand.
Ah, I see.

Depicting a loving family and telling an interesting and uplifting story about them is horrifying and your child should not be exposed to it. Because no matter how old they are, they are far, FAR too young to understand a couple of dudes getting married and being great parents to four kids who would otherwise be shunted from one shitty foster home to the next. But hey. Better to be abused and neglected by a mom AND a dad than lovingly and successfully parented by two dudes, right?


I'm so glad 'Murica is finally fighting for what's RIGHT in this world: standing up to Big Doll! Stopping Big Doll from "attempting to desensitize" our youth! Because obvi, teaching your kids to be assholes and bigots incapable of accepting differences by picking a battle with a fucking DOLL COMPANY will make them SUPER SENSITIVE human beings.

Yup. Don't be fooled by what Big Doll is trying to cram down your throat, moms: cute little overpriced dolls, clothes, books, toys, and most of all magazines featuring THE GAYS. Because as we all know, this simply does not reflect the reality of 'Murica in 2015 1950!

I mean, what the actual fuck?

Personally, the thing that offends me about American Girl is that it costs more to get McKenna's hair done than it does my own. When One Million Moms takes up that cause, well then they can call themselves One Million and One Moms because I'm all about that shit.

A portrait of the highly offensive and immoral family, courtesy WaPo.

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