Monday, November 16, 2015

Rob Lowe is the New Madeline Albright

Sometime between learning to play the saxophone while pulling off the "one earring look" in St. Elmo's Fire and making a sex tape with a 22 year-old woman and 16 year-old girl he met at an Atlanta nightclub, perennial steely-eyed pretty boy and 1980's cheese bro Rob Lowe also apparently graduated summa cum laude from the John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard, because he knows all about foreign policy now. 

Here's the sharp little nugget of diplomacy that Rob's liquid foundation-encrusted lantern-jaw shart-tweeted out last week in response to the Paris terrorist attacks:

Are you listening, France? 

It's time to crack down on the torrential flood of refugee-terrorists now, because ROB LOWE just Monday-morning quarterbacked your border security. If only you'd listened to him, think of the lives that could've been saved!

Just as fellow Hollywood denizen Gwyneth Paltrow is curing cancer by telling you what bra to wear, Rob is taking his diplomatic expertise to the people by telling President Francois Hollande that he's just shut the proverbial barn door after the horse got out.

I'm so glad Rob Lowe weighed in on this delicate issue of foreign policy and the refugee crisis via Twitter, otherwise the allied forces in the West and the entire European Union surely would have been at a complete loss as to how to resolve these thorny global dilemmas.

Like Jenny McCarthy and her professed Jonas Salk-level knowledge of polio, this seems to be yet another case of a celebrity actor overstepping his bounds into territory about which he hasn't the faintest clue. Which is not to say that I have the faintest clue either, mind you. BUT, I'm also not tweet-sharting out public policy advice to President Hollande and my 1.2M followers on Twitter. And I'm certainly not suggesting that an entire nation abandon its humanitarian efforts from my mansion high atop a bluff in Santa Barbara.

So there's that.

Once again, Rob should stick to what he knows best:  hair product, sound-stages, saxophones, earrings, sunglasses, network TV, and using his sexy bedroom eyes and defined bone structure to get his dick wet in a hot young side-piece whenever possible. Because guess what? Playing the White House communications director on The West Wing doesn't make you Madeline Albright.

Rob Lowe: He's not a douche, but he plays one on TV. Oh wait, never mind. He's a douche AND he plays one on TV.

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