Paige: If you were wearing a white T shirt with a brown stain on it and someone said you looked like a dehydrated toilet bowl with poop in it.
Me: Wow. Yeah, that would be pretty mean. Did someone say that to you?
Paige: No. I don't even have a white T shirt with a brown stain on it.
Isaac: Someone said that to me!
Paige: No they didn't.
Isaac: Yes they did!
Me: Really? When? Where? Who?
Isaac: At school. A kid in my class said that to me. For real life.
Paige: Stop lying, Isaac.
Isaac: I'M NOT LYING! SOMEONE CALLED ME A DEHYDRATED TOILET BOWL WITH A POOP STAIN ON IT FOR REAL LIFE!
Paige: I don't believe you. Prove it.
Me: I don't think that's possible, Paige. Let's just assume it happened.
Isaac: IT DID HAPPEN!
Commence full-bore physical assault, followed by only semi-effective maternal intervention. Just another rainy fall Sunday in Juneau, Alaska.