Wednesday, September 23, 2015

The Waking Life Espresso Scandal in Limerick

I now present O.H.M.'s final words on the Waking Life Espresso/Asheville misogyny scandal. As usual, I will end with a limerick:

There once were two bros from N.C.
Who put sweet D in the tender V
But then someone found out
What their game was about
And their balls hit the Internet's knee.

They broke down each one of their lays
All of Asheville was rather amazed
At what these guys said
And the shit in their heads
Those bros were like, “Lemme rephrase!”

See I know that we called women plates
And MILFs with a sock in their face
And we fucked those plates stupid
And trolled OK Cupid
And made lots of women  people irate.

We might also have dissed the fat chicks

And gagged some cute girls with our dicks
And wailed on one with a belt
(Might have left a small welt)
But that's what makes alpha males tick.

But please do not boycott our store
(Yeah, I know that we called you a whore)
But business is business
And coffee’s delicious
Here’s some cash! Let's go back to before.

We wrote a long, sad sorry note
‘Cause we heard that shit usually floats
And hope beta-prone ladies
Will forget that we're shady
‘Cause we love shoving dick in their throats.

The problem is no one is swallowing
And women the world 'round are wallowing
In your "red pill" shit show
See, you reap what you sow
And your crop is a manosphere following.

But the manosphere won't pay your rent
And your "sorries" have flown like cement
So sit down with some mochas
And try hard to focus
On the real reason for your descent.

Maybe it's just that the clock
Ran out on your game and your cock
Will now be in your hand
No you never did plan
To be dating your favorite tube sock.

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