Friday, September 11, 2015

Jet Blue Offers New In-Flight Service: The Golden Shower

Now available on southern-bound routes from Anchorage to Portland, Jet Blue is pleased to offer--for a limited time only--a new in-flight service: the golden shower

After safety, Jet Blue's number one priority is customer satisfaction. That's why we offer 1.4 more inches of legroom, the best mileage plan in the business, free in-flight WiFi for our preferred travelers, delicious hand-crafted artisanal meals and snacks, and the opportunity to be urinated on by a fellow passenger.

Forgot to take a shower this morning while rushing to the airport? NO PROBLEM! Let the friendly folks at Jet Blue worry about that. We guarantee that you will be pissed on. It's called the "20-minute pee guarantee." If you're not peed on within 20-minutes of landing at your destination, you'll receive 20,000 bonus miles.

Jet Blue is proud to be the first airline in the continental United States to offer its passengers this unique luxury option. Our new golden shower service is worth its weight in gold--and urine. We promise!

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