Friday, March 25, 2016

Alaska So Broke

Alaska so broke, even the glaciers are moving away.

Alaska so broke, it’s been cut off from the rest of the country on a map.

Alaska so broke, the legislature can’t even afford to pay attention.

Alaska so broke, next year’s dividend is being paid out in canned beach asparagus.

Alaska so broke, the midnight sun is only staying out until 10:00.

Alaska so broke, kids are funding the whole next school year with a bake sale.

Alaska so broke, even duct tape can’t fix it.

Alaska so broke, a barrel of oil costs less than a bucket of KFC.

Alaska so broke, only ravens and eagles are allowed to fly anywhere for work.

Alaska so broke, sea lions have to apply for a fishing license now.

Alaska so broke, the legislature might have to enact a broad-based beard tax.

Alaska so broke, God is threatening to turn off the northern lights.


Alaska so broke, special session is being held in the dumpster behind Humpy's.

Alaska so broke, winter is being shortened to three weeks.

Alaska so broke, it's considering selling itself back to Russia.

Alaska so broke, the new state flower is a dandelion.

Alaska so broke, the state motto is being changed from "North to the Future" to "South to the Sewer."

Alaska so broke, even the bears' hibernation days are being furloughed.

Alaska so broke, eight stars of gold are being replaced with gold laminate.

Alaska so broke, the field of blue is being subdivided into lots.

Alaska so broke, the new LIO is going to be a drive-thru espresso stand at the intersection of Tudor and Lake Otis.

Alaska so broke, "the panhandle" is no longer just the name of a region in southeast.

Alaska so broke, Don Young is now selling ad space on his forehead.
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1 comment:

  1. so many gems.but the best is the one about the panhandle!

    ReplyDelete