Ah, the public apology to people with vaginas.
There seems to be one almost every month, kind of like a menstrual cycle for assholes. It goes like this: Politicians, celebrities, and regular ol' John Q. Publics do some stupid shit on or offline. Then they get caught. Then they issue the disingenuous but carefully crafted "public apology" in a transparent bid to salvage their reputations and their bank accounts.
Usually, these apologies are made from men to women for doing and saying bad things to and about their lady parts. There are so many examples of this it's tough to catalog them all: Josh Duggar, Bill Cosby (not sure he ever apologized actually), Jian Ghomeshi, college fraternities, the list goes on and on and on and on and on.
Today's example is reported by Joanna Rothkopf in Jezebel.
Jared Rutledge and Jacob Owens, two until-yesterday-cocksure millennials who own Waking Life Coffee Shop in Asheville, NC, were anonymously podcasting and blogging about their sexual "conquests" of women, penning objectifying bon mots like: "Nothing wrong with fucking a fat chick (body fat > 25%) once in a while, but they're catch and release." And "One thing that mediocre skinny girls can do is be sweet, submissive, and feminine. Makes a massive difference and can also add a point." One of them even bragged that he had sex with a woman while she was sedated in a hospital.
Well, the people of Asheville were PISSED and protested the living shit out of Jared and Jacob's business, prompting a change.org petition and calls for product boycotts and such. I highly recommend that you click on over to the groveling public apology these two posted today to their coffee shop's website, in which they proclaim that everyone's "anger is justified." (Thanks for mansplaining the verdict, boys!), and that they've said "terrible and demeaning things." But don't worry. They're closing up shop for a couple days of "introspection" and are donating the next few months of profits to a rape crisis center. So it's all good, M'kay?
But like, here's my question though. See, women say sorry a lot. Like, way too much. Sorry coming out of a woman's mouth is usually a five-letter-four-letter word in my opinion, as I've blogged about before. So why is it that you never hear a man saying "sorry" for his violent and inexcusable misogyny until after he gets caught?
I'm going to hazard a guess on that.
Maybe it's because he's not actually sorry about raping and fucking and bragging about raping and fucking. Maybe he's just sorry that someone found out about his raping and fucking and bragging about raping and fucking, since at least in this case, these guys knew it was bad enough to do it anonymously, and now that they've been exposed, no one wants to buy their fair-trade coffee beans and pumpkin spice lattes anymore.
Do you know when I'll believe an apology like this? When men stop doing the shit that makes apologies like this necessary in the first place.