Friday, December 12, 2014

The Turnip, Vol. 2: Area Mother Flummoxed by Fitted Sheet

JUNEAU, AK

Shortly after her young son peed his bed for the third night in a row, area mother Amy Wilson found herself totally flummoxed by the fitted sheet she was using to replace its urine-soaked predecessor. 

"I just don't get it," Wilson reported with exasperation. "I keep turning it around and around, and it never fits. It's a rectangle, isn't it? You'd think statistically I would eventually turn it the right way, wouldn't you?"

At press time, Wilson--a 37 year-old professional with a post-graduate degree--was finding it nearly impossible to assemble a three-tiered plastic shelf from Home Depot.

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