Thursday, December 4, 2014

Memorandum: The World is Still Totally Fucked


To:  Everyone Under 18 Years of Age

From:  Everyone Over 18 Years of Age

Re:    The World is Still Totally Fucked

Date:   December 4, 2014 

cc:   God/The Universe
 _____________________________________________________________________________

This is to notify you that The World is still totally fucked. Every generation reflects fondly on the good old days, and talks about how everything used to be better and things are only getting worse with each passing year. Well, rest assured, that is still one hundred percent correct today!  

A cursory skimming of today’s news reveals that people of color everywhere are still being institutionally marginalized, persecuted, murdered, and generally having their Constitutional rights trampled upon by the American criminal justice system in record numbers; nationwide xenophobia reigns supreme, as reflected in systemic efforts to send people who do all sorts of important jobs from taking out our garbage to performing neurosurgery back from whence they came (mostly Mexico and Africa, naturally); ISIS is still busy chopping people’s heads off for ransom; antibiotic-resistant “super-bugs” are killing babies all over India and are poised to spread to the rest of the world; every other woman who enters college or the military can expect to be sexually assaulted with impunity; Bill Cosby is a rapist; Ebola is spreading; everything we eat is genetically engineered/poisoned before it gets to the supermarket; cruise ships dumped a billion tons of raw sewage into the world’s oceans last year; middle school remains a great place to get shot; the polar ice caps are melting and everyone who lives in the mountains will likely have waterfront property soon; and, finally, Kim Kardashian exists and is very rich and famous for worse than no reason.

Yes, young folks, you can sleep well tonight knowing that The World is still totally fucked and keeps getting more fucked by the day. So you’ll have your work cut out for you trying to fuck it up even further. Best of luck to you! If there's anything else we can do to assist you, please don't bother letting us know. We'll all be dead by then.

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