Friday, December 26, 2014

This Just In: Sabra is the "Official Dip Sponsor" of the NFL!

For anyone who's been on the edge of their proverbial seat wondering who the "official dip sponsor" of the NFL is, I'm happy to report it's Sabra, best known for its many varieties of hummus and other healthy and delectable Mediterranean spreads.

Sabra recently secured this coveted sponsorship, vanquishing top contenders like Tribe, Lilly's, and Athenos, whose defending red pepper fire roasted hummus was dethroned by the Israeli brand.

Now, it might seem strange that the NFL would have a dip sponsor at all, much less one best known for its smooth, vegan, hummus best served on organic multigrain sandwich bread with alfalfa sprouts and a slice of havarti. Last time I checked, the majority of NFL players and fans prefer Budweiser and bratwurst to olive tapenade, wasabi white bean dip, and basil pesto hummus. I can't say I've ever seen a Jets fan holding a hummus and pita in one hand and a foam finger in the other while screaming down at the gridiron.

But maybe I'm simply out of touch with modern marketing for the NFL, especially as the league tries to reverse its reputation as a haven for rapists, batterers, and greedy sports executives who would rather see every player in the game suffer the irreversible effects of constant concussions than lose one red cent on ticket sales.

Something tells me that next season, Summer's Eve, Tampax, and Monistat will be the official douche, tampon, and yeast infection remedy of the NFL, respectively. Now THAT would be a real marketing coup!

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