Friday, November 14, 2014

Nail Biter

The older I get, the easier it becomes to accept my bad habits and resign myself to them. Especially when the habit in question is not particularly physically or psychologically destructive (although I've got plenty of those too).

So it is with nail biting. I've bitten my nails for as long as I can remember, and I fucking LOVE it. There's nothing better than grabbing one of my fingernails between my teeth, ripping it off, and spitting it out the window of my car with a flourish. Or if it's really cold, just on the dashboard maybe, where I can look at the little half moon piece of nail shrapnel stuck to the "6" on the "106.3" of the Top 40 radio station blasting "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift.

Yeah, maybe that's a little bit gross, but it's not even close to as bad as eating boogers at a red light (which I've definitely witnessed people of driving age do), and it saves me time and money on manicures and nail maintenance.

I've tried to quit biting my nails on several occasions, before realizing how truly pointless it was. I hate the feeling of long fingernails. And I love the feeling of biting my nails off. So really nail biting is a match made in heaven for me.

It's all I can do to exert the willpower necessary to avoid truly destructive behaviors in my life, and I don't always succeed even at that. Accordingly, I don't intend to devote my limited mental resources to quitting a "bad" but relatively innocuous habit that I love SO fucking much. As Taylor would say, "the haters gonna hate hate hate hate...but I just [bite my nails] off."

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