Saturday, November 29, 2014

Care to Dance?

The only form of physical activity more horrifying to me than running (see prior post titled "Running Scared") is dancing. Literally my worst social-situation nightmare is being out on some town (any town) with a group of women who suddenly announce that they want to "go dancing" (any type of dancing) or even worse, being in a bar where some dude insists on dragging me off a bar stool or the wall and dancing with me. Fortunately, my current occupation as a bedraggled working mother has slashed to almost zero the occasions on which I am confronted with either of these propositions.

I'm not sure what it is about dancing that is so anathema to me, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm profoundly neurotic and dancing is not a hobby for even the remotely neurotic. You need to be able to step outside your inhibitions and let go of mental and physical self consciousness, neither of which I can do (or feel like trying to do) most of the time.

There's a corny saying, attributed to various people in various iterations, that you're supposed to "dance like no one's watching, love like you'll never be hurt, sing like there's nobody listening, and live like it's heaven on earth."

Well, my life philosophy is a slight variation on that theme: I like to dance like no one is watching--in the sense that no one WILL be watching--because I refuse to dance at anything short of gunpoint; I like to sing in the shower when no one actually IS listening, since the sound of my voice is enough to turn anyone who hears it to stone; I like to love like I'm going to die of heartbreak, rejection, over-analysis, and lack of decent psychotherapy with every passing minute; and I like to live like the world is a balance beam where I continually assess how buzzed I can get after work without compromising my mental faculties too severely and yet still be able to adequately cope with my daily existence.

I know that doesn't really roll off the tongue as well as the original phrase, but there you have it. Anyone care to dance?

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