Thursday, November 20, 2014

"Who Da Boss?"

6:15 on a school day mornin’
Roll my ass outta bed and I yell out a warnin’
GET UP YOU TWO!
You know I ain’t playin’
I’m aboutsta crack skulls with all your mad disobeyin’!

You want waffles?
FUCK THAT.

Ima’ get my coffee!
You dictatin’ this show like you was MUAMMAR GADDAFI!

Get dressed, brush your grill, grab your coat and hat.
Jump into the whip and strap your ass in STAT!
Listen to the teach when she drop that science
I don’t wanna hear reportsa non-compliance!

Who da boss? That’s ME
You better hear this stanza
I be bossin’ you around like I was TONY DANZA! 


Rollin’ into work by 8:08
So I can start reviewing documents and bring home da cake.
No time to take a leak, no time to read Slate
Gotta rumble with the fuckahs who be suin’ the state.

Scope mah Outlook calendar: I’m back-to-back
This day is movin’ faster than a cheetah on CRACK.
5:00 p.m. in the crib and it’s WAR like IRAQ.
I open up the door, it’s like, DO DIS, DO DAT.
Well lemme set you straight, like a flat-brimmed hat:
I’m da boss in this house, you need to check yo’self
Your attitude is bigger than the CONTINENTAL SHELF!

Who da boss? That’s ME.
You better hear this stanza
I be bossin’ you around like I was TONY DANZA!


Sit down, eat your dinner, and finish your vegetables
Pick up your fork and get your hands off your genitals
We gotsta keep it real with that spellin’ practice
Make your brain razor sharp like a CHRISTMAS CACTUS.

Jump in the tub now you be smellin’ RANK
I gotta pour myself a glass o’ pinot blanc
Just to handle all your guff, son, you be CRAZY stank
I’m your mother, mother fuckahs, you can take that to the BANK.

Who da boss? That’s ME.
You better hear this stanza
I be bossin’ you around like I was TONY DANZA! 

Pajamas! Water! Stories! Songs!
This bedtime routine is takin’ HELLA long.
Get undah the covahs’ I be sick of negotiatin’
Dock your allowance? Maybe THAT will be motivatin'!

It’s 8:00 p.m. in the nine-oh-seven
You actin' wack like Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn. 

You can't be up all night this ain't no 7/11!
Close your eyes! Go to sleep! And please stop talkin’
Getting you to bed is like a conflict in the BALKANS.

Finally it’s time for me to sneak out the door
Volunteer all my time like I’m in the PEACE CORPS
You ain’t the boss, cuz you don’t get paid.
But neither do I, yet you be throwin’ SHADE.

Get upstairs to the couch and I rock the Netflix
Eat a bowl of ice cream and some dope raw cake mix
Pass out like a junkie on Canal and Third
Do it all again tomorrow! I am UNDETERRED!

Who da boss? That’s ME.
You better hear this stanza
I be bossin’ you around like I was TONY DANZA! 


Peace, I’m out...



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