Saturday, June 4, 2016

Everyone in Juneau Suddenly Has a Metal Detector and a Stand Up Paddle Board Because Costco

No man is an island, but of course some places are islands. And although Juneau is not technically an island, it might as well be: You can only get here by boat or plane, and the population is relatively fixed at a modest 30,000 or so.

So it's pretty obvious when a certain trend sets in, because all of a sudden, everywhere you look people are embracing some weird new hobby, and the one-word explanation is always the same:


Sometime in the past few weeks, I started noticing that everywhere I looked, people were using metal detectors and riding stand up paddle boards. Despite the fact that this has happened before with playground structures and gluten free penne pasta, I forgot that the only possible explanation was that these items were available for a reasonable price at Costco.

In this way, the membership-based wholesale store dictates the recreational whims of an entire city. See, Juneauties didn't know how much they would love metal detection and stand up paddle boarding until Costco introduced them to these activities.

It's a version of "love the one you're with." If you can't be with the one you love (like maybe surfing and jewelry-making or something), then love the one you're with: metal detection and stand up paddle boarding.

One of these days, Costco will stock vibrators, and all the dudes in Juneau will be wandering around, wondering where all the women went.

True story.

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