Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Poop Your Way to Hawaii!

Some amazing news from Juneau this week! 

Costco has officially broken up with American Express and will now will take Visa, which might not sound like important news to folks in the Lower 48, but for Alaskans is a very big deal.

When you live in the Last Frontier, Alaska Airlines miles are more valuable and indispensable than sturdy rain boots, duct tape, a decent tomato, and a semi-normal person you haven't dated yet.

The fact that every dollar you charge to an Alaska Airlines Visa credit card earns you one mile on Alaska Airlines means that the well-trodden and highly-relied upon wholesale retailer will now be helping everyone in Juneau poop their way to Hawaii!

With no further ado then, it's time to announce the O.H.M. "Poop Your Way to Hawaii" challenge, in which Juneauites keep track of the amount of bulk goods it takes to get a free plane flight out of our little, rainy, land-and-water-locked corner of the world to another isolated corner of the world with much better weather and produce. 

Future predictions include but are not limited to:
  • 7,000 rolls of bulk toilet paper for one round trip ticket to Kauai.
  • 5,000 containers of salted mixed nuts for one round trip ticket to Honolulu.
  • 4,000 prescriptions for anti-depressants for one round trip ticket to Maui.
  • 1,000 packages of Oral B toothbrushes for one round trip ticket to Kona.
  • 4,000 bags of dog food for one round trip ticket to Molokai.
Oh and don't bother to check my math on any of this. I didn't use any.

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