Thursday, January 15, 2015

Very Special Assholes: A History Lesson

Rant alert.

I’ve had a few interesting responses to my recent post about mean moms. One of them was a teachable-moment type anecdote from a same-sex couple I know.

These are two married, professional men with a young daughter. Recently, some bigoted lunatic mother at her school not only declined to invite her to her own daughter’s birthday party, but quickly whisked her own child out of a store when she ran into my friends' family last summer. All presumably because her parents are gay.

Now, it takes a very special kind of asshole to do this sort of thing, and they've always been around. It's the same kind of special asshole who lived in Lynbrook, Long Island in 1959, and wouldn’t let my then 14-year old mother play with her children simply because my mother was an orphan and in foster care. It's the same kind of special asshole who spat at kids integrating schools in Kansas, in 1954 after Brown v. Board of Education.

See, you can’t just be a regular ol' plain vanilla asshole and act this way. You have to be a really, really special asshole, with all the trimmings and fixins'. The kind of asshole who, in addition to making me want to punch you really hard in your stupid face, makes me want to sit down with you and ask you a few questions.

Questions like: “What do you think is going to happen to your child? Do you think your 5 year-old daughter will become a gay man? Do you think she will become a foster child? Do you think these things are contagious? What exactly do you think is going to happen here?” 

Like, make them really think about it for maybe even 2.2 seconds.

But of course, there is usually no point to that conversation. Because by the time people have reached this high level of prestigious and vaunted assholery—where they are willing to ostracize and alienate and persecute a child because they are stupid, ignorant bigots--there's really not a whole lot you can do about it.

The only thing you can do is to not give a fuck. And to teach your kid the sad but necessary lesson of how seriously unworthy of fuck-giving some people are.

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