Wednesday, February 21, 2018

And a Child Shall Lead Them: Watching Kids Tell the NRA to Go Fuck Itself is BEYOND Delectable!

Okay, so I know I threw a mini-temper tantrum, upended the metaphorical chess board, and said I was taking a blogging break. But then the NRA went ahead and made me SO FUCKING MAD--and what high school kids did to them made me SO FUCKING HAPPY--that I had to come out of temporary hiding.

Plus, the truth is that I’m a born and bred New Yorker, and we have a different sense of time. Have you heard of a New York Minute? In New York Minutes, my two day long-form blog break was practically a year, and also New Yorkers can’t shut up for more than 48 hours or we explode like an IED.

But most of all, there is a reason I returned early from fake-blog-hiatus and that reason is the need to express the unmitigated JOY I feel at watching the NR fuckin’ A and their simpering indentured servants in Congress squirm all week long under the piercing questioning of high school-aged activists, or as Alex Jones of Infowars would call them, "crisis actors." 

Like it’s hard to find words to describe how happy this makes me.

Understand that I live in Alaska and every single person I know with virtually no exception owns multiple guns. Understand that our lone congressman is the second most NRA-funded member of Congress after Paul Ryan. But also understand that every gun owner I know ALSO hates the NRA. 

Why? Let us count the ways.

It's because the NRA is not a nice "civil rights" organization. They know full well that reasonable gun regulation up to and including an assault weapons ban is constitutional and necessary to save lives. But they don’t care about human life or safety, of course. They don't even care about gun owners or the Second Amendment. Their sole mission is to prey on fear and abuse democracy to make it rain blood money for gun makers. 

Gun owners know this. EVERYONE knows this.

Like Big Tobacco before them, the NRA promotes a product that harms the public health and is trying to hide it. Profit first, public second. It’s the American way. There is a LOT of money on the line, and John Wayne LaPierre’s fear-mongering cowboy act this week reveals that fact with more clarity and more raw, naked shamelessness than ever before.

As usual after mass shootings, the post-Parkland NRA repeated the same tired ass talking points which all boil down to one thing:  


It's almost like the NRA wants kids to die so that they can ... wait for it ... sell even MORE guns and make MORE money. Wait wait wait ... it’s ALMOST like they are literally profiting from mass murder and don’t actually give two shits about the Second Amendment? Just putting that out there.

Well, it turns out that NRA gunrunner corporate thugs and their enabling conspiracy theorists and goons compounding mass murder with the cyber-bullying of child survivors and activists is not a good look.

This time is different. 

This time, the NRA is being publicly dunked on like never before by a generation with the energy and will to stop the carnage. 

Kids are going on television and dragging Senator Rubio. They are making Dana Loesch squirm in her chair like the complicit, mendacious paid shill that she is. They are giving the lie to the NRA's bullshit myth that their "five million members" will thank them to facilitate unfettered access to military-grade firearms and turn their kids' schools into a barricaded prison camp where no one succeeds but Remington.

The jig is fucking UP for the NRA. We are onto you. The KIDS are fucking onto you. We know you are greedy, venal, corporate whores to the military industrial complex and you don't give a shit about who lives or dies, including any one of your five million members whom you supposedly love so much.

You’re going down like Big Tobacco, and you’re taking all the elected officials whose balls you have in a vice grip right along with you. 

Thoughts and prayers, motherfuckers. Thoughts and prayers.


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