Saturday, April 15, 2017

This Syrup Jug is Keeping it Real

You gotta respect this Hershey's "Syrup Jug" for keeping it real. 

For once, I'm proud to say that neither I nor anyone in my family actually consumed this and digested it. It was just a box from Costco that turned up behind our house, as April in a melting Juneau begins to unearth the cardboard, plastic, and glass detritus buried Robert Frost-style by a long and snowy winter.

What I like most about this Syrup Jug is that it's not jumping on the faux-organic band wagon. It's a giant plastic jug of brown, fake chocolate-flavored(?), mass produced, high-fructose corn syrup, and it's not pretending to be anything else. 

In a time when entire stores in Brooklyn are dedicated to artisanal mayonnaise, it's a harsh self-own to admit that you'll never be more than a "Syrup Jug." And yet here's Hershey's, boldly doing exactly that.

It's not even obvious what kind of "syrup" is it. Chocolate? Strawberry? Petroleum? This could be a gas can, for all we know. For all we know, you could put this in the tank of your '93 Civic and drive it across the country like it ain't no thang. 

All we know--and indeed all we need to know--is that it's a "jug" of "syrup."

If it's one thing I admire, it's a product's (or a person's, for that matter) ability to just own what it is with no reservations. 

You can waste time asking yourself who could possibly want or use a "Syrup Jug"--actually boxes and boxes of MANY "Syrup Jugs"--this size. As far as I'm concerned, that's between the acquisitions team (?) at Costco, the Hershey's corporation, and dying-of-sugar-induced-health-complications-America.

Well played, Hershey's "Syrup Jug." Well played.

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