Wednesday, February 8, 2017

I Want to Make Brokeback Mountain Meets American History X Meets 50 Shades of Orange

And this needs to be the marquee movie poster for it. Seriously, this movie and companion still-shot to promote it has Oscar buzz written ALL over it.

This morning, our Sentient Cheeto Overlord tweet-sharted that the appellate court's decision on his immigration ban should be an "Easy D," meaning, I guess, an "easy decision." Natch, Twitter IMMEDIATELY exploded into a raging inferno of dick jokes and fake rapper names, but I see something more here, both in this tweet AND in this pic:

A screenplay!

I'm thinking sort of a "Brokeback Mountain" meets "American History X" meets "50 Shades of Orange" sort of a thing.

Just look at the chemistry between Trump and Steve Bannon here. I mean, it's palpable. How the front of their hair is touching and forming a heart shape. The sultry way Trump is biting his lower lip, while at once grasping Bannon's shoulders firmly yet gently. The deep gaze of power-lust in Steve's icy blue eyes. It's like it's all they can do to keep from melting together into a twisted pile of spray-tanned cellulite, triple chins, and gin blossoms.

Here's the plot:

A wealthy, vaguely sociopathic and illiterate heir to a real estate empire has a chance meeting with a disheveled, porcine journalist seeking to write a cover story on him. Over the course of eleventy hundred drinks at Central Park's Tavern on the Green, it becomes clear that the two share a common love of two things: 

BDSM and white supremacy.

Although the heir is a blueblood whose dad was in the KKK, and the journalist comes from hardscrabble, working class stock, the magnetism between the two is undeniable, and a love blooms between them over their shared hatred of Jews, blacks, and immigrants.

Over the course of two decades, the two float in and out of multiple failed, loveless marriages as they keep up an erotic correspondence and indulge in occasional in-person trysts. 

These include golf trips to the real estate scion's compound in Florida, mysterious flights aboard the heir's private jet (hello? Mile High Club much?!) and BDSM play with ball gags and leather masks in a secret sex dungeon somewhere deep in the secluded wilderness of Western Montana.

When the business tycoon has a once-in-a-lifetime chance to leverage the United States Presidency into an opportunity for personal enrichment, he brings the journalist along for the ride. 

Embracing each other in public at last as one another's most trusted advisers and confidantes, the whirl of publicity will prove a watershed test of their relationship.

Will their love survive public scrutiny and enable them to make zillions of dollars while slowly and efficiently staging a fascist, revanchist, populist coup of American democracy? 

Or will a bunch of whiny, leftist, libtard, snowflake Hillary bitches, Jews, Muslims, immigrants, and blacks stand in their way as usual?

Stay tuned to find out!

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