Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Statement Earmuffs

For the always-brimming "is that seriously a thing" and "WTF" files, I bring you "statement earmuffs." (Stearmuffs)? They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and this picture says "wrong" and "nope" at least 1,000 times. This is seriously a thing:

Statement Earmuffs: A Trend to Try?

Apparently, runways from Paris to New York are battling the polar vortex with this fabulous winter accessory. I'm pretty intrigued by these. They look like a lot of stuff, but not like earmuffs, exactly. They look more like the following ten things:

1. Two baby slow lorises, captured in the jungles of Burma, slaughtered, and attached to a woman's head:




2. Two fluffy bunny rabbits, farm-raised, slaughtered, and attached to a woman's head:



3. Two white Koosh balls, bought at Toys R' Us and attached to a woman's head:



4. Two Hostess Snoballs, lifted from a gas station mini-mart and attached to a woman's head:



5. Two tawny frogmouth chicks, recently hatched, gassed to death, and attached to a woman's head:



6. Two teacup pomerranian puppies, drowned and attached to a woman's head:



7. Two giant Dandelion fluff-buds, plucked and attached to a woman's head:



8. Two giant puffball mushrooms, gathered from the forest and attached to a woman's head:



9. Two baby seals, clubbed to death and attached to a woman's head.



10. Two giant spores of candida, grown in a Petri dish off a yeast-infection positive pap smear and attached to a woman's head:






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