Friday, February 20, 2015

I'm Crazy Swamped Right Now

Hey, so good to see you! I'd LOVE to stop and chat but I am craaaaaaazy swamped right now. Like so, so crazy. And so, SO swamped.

I'm actually talking to you from a stalled-out power boat in the Okefenokee Swamp right now, as a matter of fact. Yeah, yeah. It's on the Florida-Georgia border. That's the one. It's such a crazy swamp that it's actually a federal wilderness area!

The mosquitos are out in droves today. Like TONS of 'em. And I can't hear you too well, because I'm under a banyan tree and there's a little bit of interference from the roots, leaves, and branches. There's also a little bit of static from the voices in my head who are currently communicating with me through the silver fillings in my teeth. Super crazy.

But it's all good. I've just taken 60 mg of Thorazine (it's an antipsychotic, just FYI) and I'm in a strait jacket, so I'm a little woozy and I have you on speaker. You know, because of the strait jacket and not being able to use my hands and all. The sound of these frogs croaking and hopping across the lillipads is kinda distracting.

Oh shit! Sorry. Sorry. I just saw an alligator. And no, it was not a psychotic hallucination. He literally just jumped out of the water and almost bit me on the leg. God this swamp is so crazy. I can't tell you how crazy swamped I am right now. I think I need to summon a Creole Voo Doo witch doctor to cast a spell to help me feel less crazy and get me out of this swamp. I'm like fuckin' buried in cat o' nine tails up to my ass over here.

Let's chat next week when things are less crazy and I'm less swamped, K?

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