Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Let's Talk About Revelation

Today someone close to me, whom I love a lot and whose opinion I respect a lot, asked me, "Don't you worry you're being a little too . . . revealing on your blog?" He emphasized the word "revealing" with a nervous chuckle and a drawn-out note of disdain and concern. This was on the heels of an email he had sent me about long-time blogger Andrew Sullivan quitting blogging for several different reasons (none of which, I note, included revelation, but no matter).

Well, OK. It's a good question, so let's talk about revelation. Specifically, what I do and don't "reveal" on here. I've said before that I have boundaries that might not be obvious, and apparently they are actually not very obvious at all, so I will explain more clearly what is missing from this blog.

I don't blog about my job. I don't blog about my marriage. I don't blog about politics. I don't blog about anything in my personal life that involves another human being directly, other than my kids, (and then mostly only to note my own failings as a mother). I rarely even mention other people by name, in fact. I don't post controversial images. For the most part, I don't reveal a single meaningful thing about anyone other than myself, and even those things are meaningful only because they are not commonly said aloud.

And I guess he was implying that this is bad. That I have a reputation to protect and that I should be worried I might get fired or not promoted or will offend someone because I write about things everyone in the world deals with every single day like racism and maxi-pads and fear and insecurity, and that I write about these things from the first person, instead of the third person or the fake person who claims to be "very private," but is actually just highly invested in convincing everyone that their life is perfect. Because yeah, some people are legitimately "very private," sure. But for an equal number of people, I suspect, "I'm very private" is just a euphemism for "I don't want anyone to know I'm not perfect." 

Well, I'm not sure, obviously, but I don't think anyone ever got fired for blogging about a maxi-pad, unless they worked for Stayfree and tweeted on Stayfree's Twitter account that Always had the better "wings" technology.

I suspect there is a reason that hundreds of people I don't know read this blog. I can tell, because I can see how many people read it, and I don't know even close to that number of people. Obviously, what I write resonates with people for a reason, and I suspect that reason is that I try to be funny, brave, honest, and authentic in the topics I discuss. From what I hear, people get a lot out of that, including many "respectable" people who would be in a position to make my life very unhappy as a result of my saying or writing something "bad" or "wrong." 

So the concern is well-taken, but ultimately, it's in the category of fuck-giving and apologizing that I wrote about earlier. As in I don't give one, and I'm not sorry. I guess in the end I trust my own self-censorship; that I have censored the things that should rightly be censored, and not the things that make this blog what it is for the people who read it.

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