Tuesday, February 2, 2016

"Kid Rock Endorsing Donald Trump for President" Sounds Like a White Card Option in Cards Against Humanity

Sure that's what it sounds like, but it makes perfect sense when you think about it.

If you need any further evidence that the cyclone of dicks f.k.a. presidential election season 2016 has jumped the shark, look no further than this interview in Rolling Stone with Kid Rock, who has officially "been digging" Donald Trump for Prez.

Kid Rock represents everything this great country stands for, since he’s the consummate embodiment of the American Dream: a self-proclaimed “American Badass” white male born in the Midwest to a working class family, who grew up to make zillions of dollars recording unlistenable mashups of hip-hop, country, heavy metal, and Christian rock.

All this, while wearing designer sunglasses and tight-fitting T-shirts, lifting weights, and being married to Pamela Anderson for a hot minute after making a sex tape in which he and that guy from Creed received blow jobs from unidentified groupies. Really, you couldn’t ask for a more perfect endorsement of D. Trizzle if you made one from scratch. 

Plus, Kid has some very articulate and well-developed reasons for his public support of the Ed McMahon-Stalin hybrid.

Though Kid reveals—incredulously—that he is “not an expert at political science or anything,” he notes that if anyone other than human tomato Donald Trump occupies the White House, “there’s going to be the same shit.” In prior administrations, Kid has not “really seen this big, like, fucking change.” His "feeling" is that we “should let the motherfucking business guy run [the country] like a fucking business,” since “it’s not really working too well running it not like a business,” because “what fucking business survives when they’re fucking broke?” 

Excellent question! I assume it was posed rhetorically, but surely Trump can answer it having bankrupted more than a few businesses himself. Most importantly to Kid though, Trump’s campaign has been “entertaining as shit.” 

Can’t argue with that.

When it comes to quality entertainers, it takes one to know one, and that's why I'll be the first to publicly endorse and advocate for a Trump/Rock 2016 ticket. And though I'm no graphic designer (or certainly no more than Kid Rock is a political scientist), I think this should be their poster and campaign slogan.

Who's with me?

1 comment:

  1. Sound argument that sounds good. Where can we get the poster?


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