Wednesday, February 10, 2016

10 Red Lobster/Beyonce Tweets That Should Have Been

The whole internet agrees Red Lobster missed a once-in-a-lifetime marketing opportunity when Queen Bey dropped "Formation" over Superbowl Weekend. 

The instant classic slayed the whole world with choice lines like: "When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster," and Red Lobster sales hit the roof. The Twitterverse waited with baited breath, and then got nothing but some Illuminati mess about Cheddar Bey Biscuits from Red Lobster's official Twitter account.

Even I could do better than that. Here are 10 Tweets that should have been forthcoming from @redlobster last weekend:

@redlobster: Y’all haters corny with that Filet o’ Fish mess. Catch our fly and our cocky fresh catch of the day, 'cause it slay.

@redlobster: Free hot sauce in your bag, swag!

@redlobster: You see it. You want it. Popcorn shrimp on her after you hit it.

@redlobster: Get what’s mine, take what’s mine, wood-fire grill hot all the time.

@redlobster: You know you that biscuit when you cause all this conversation.

@redlobster: If you hit it right you might get that four course seafood feast, beast!

@redlobster: We so impressive how we rock your rock fish preferences.

@redlobster: Your dad like lobster bisque, your moms like garlic shrimp, you mix that salad with some coleslaw get a bargain bitch!

@redlobster: We did not come to play with the froze. We came to slay fish (fresh).

@redlobster: I like my lobster tail with snow crab legs and scampi, you can’t get fish like this from out your grandma’s pantry!

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