Friday, February 19, 2016

Bad at Math

I'm not proud to admit this (what else is new), but I'm bad at math. Like, really bad. Not just "I got a C in calculus" bad at math. More like I can barely calculate 20% on a tip bad at math. Sort of like Talking Barbie "math is haaaaaaard" bad at math. Kind of like a poster child for STEM programs for girls and not in a good way. Like in a "before" picture sort of a way.

I did alright in math and science at school by memorizing tricks and having no concept of what I was doing, while my mom--who was great at math-- sighed in exasperation at my failure to grasp the most basic concepts she was trying to help me understand. The second the test was over, out the information flew, like a migrating Canadian goose.

If I had to chart how I became a 38 year-old functional human who can barely do basic arithmetic, I'd posit a small problem became a big one through minor math trauma of some kind. I wasn't naturally good with numbers, but with every mistake I made, I felt dumber and dumber to the point that I developed a bit of a numeric phobia and a complete mental block against math.

So helping Paige with her math homework isn't very much fun for me. I'm pretty sure you need the problem before this one (#7, I know how to count backwards that far) to solve #8. 

Or I hope so, because this second grade math problem is literally everything I've always hated about math and logic problems summed up in a two-sentence second grade world problem. Fuck you, Peter. Fuck you and your basket of apples and oranges! 

P.S.: I know everyone reading this can figure the answer out in ten seconds without using a pencil and paper.  Don't rub it in.

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