Thursday, August 20, 2015

Please Josh Duggar, I Beg of You: Stop Making This So Easy

At least three O.H.M. fans have requested a fourth (but hopefully not final!) timely post on one of this blog's all-time favorite topics:  The Duggars. 

Let's review.

Loyal readers will recall how The Duggars have gifted O.H.M. with ample material, starting with the original May 22, 2015 post titled Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged, Josh Duggar!, in which I exhibited my giddy and profane schadenfreude at watching a hypocritical hate-monger get his comeuppance in the form of a tits-up reality TV show and public shaming. 

Readers may also recall how days later, my fully-admitted glee at watching another human being who is a complete and total fuckwit get exactly what he deserved earned me a creative epithet: Mother Superior Morally Judgmental P.C. Piece of Crap Libtard, (or MSMJPCPCL for short). It's a nickname that I both fully embraced and gladly accepted, and which I continue to honor to this day, both in letter and in spirit.

Following my renaming, I was all but forced to Double Down on the Duggars, when it was revealed that Michelle Duggar was robo-calling voters in Arkansas, encouraging them to vote against an LGBT non-discrimination ordinance. So naturally I had to point out all the inaccurate, inane things about transgender people that were spewing forth from M. Duggs' stupid Jello-Salad-with-Cool-Whip-Topping hole. 

Now the Duggars are single-handedly growing the "Asshat" label of O.H.M. by leaps and bounds, because this week, the Internet learned that during the whole time Josh Duggar was getting famous shilling for "family values," he had a paid account with Ashley Madison, a "cheaters" website where people seek out extramarital sex! Specifically, J. Duggs wanted "a steamy affair" with "someone who is passionate," and, according to the NY Post, interested in "conventional sex,"; "experimenting with sex toys;" and "one night stands."

Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a big deal, because who cares. Live and let live, I say. J. Duggs can get tied up in chains in an S&M dungeon and star in an amateur iMovie reboot of Fifty Shades of Grey for all I care. Hell, let the guy experiment and indulge in whatever fetishes he wants to. Let him pay a woman to shit on his chest and fuck him in the ass with a six-inch purple latex strap-on. More power to him!

The critical difference, of course (and one that was apparently lost on the person who so awesomely and impulsively dubbed me MSMJPCPCL) is that Josh Duggar very much does NOT adhere to the principle of "live and let live." Quite the opposite, he adheres to the principle of "live and tell everyone else how to live," and therein lies the rub (so to speak). 

You see, MOST people who sneak into their sisters' bedrooms in the middle of the night to diddle their junk and pay to engage in adultery are not ALSO simultaneously getting paid handsomely to lobby against same-sex marriage be morally bankrupt, censorious, craven spokesbigots who go on national television for the express purpose of hurling stones from their own glass house.

So it's not that J. Duggs fingered his minor sisters and paid to arrange an extramarital affair that's so terrible, although certainly the former is nauseating and criminal. What's so bad is that all of this fuckery was occurring WHILE he was out in the world getting paid to hate on other people for what they did with their own cocks n' balls.

Oh Josh Duggar. You are an absolutely delectable and delicious asshole. MWWWAH. Full stop. Shine on you crazy diamond! 

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