Friday, May 22, 2015

Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged, Josh Duggar!

The star of TLC's unwatchable "19 Kids and Counting" (alternate title: "Michelle Duggar's Vagina is a Clown Car") is learning his scripture the hard way this week. 

Josh Duggar, doughy-faced spokesbigot for the Family Research Council's official homophobia arm, was outed as a serial child molester!

The delicious schadenfreude I experienced upon hearing this news and hate-watching every single one of its developments unfold is rivaled only by my conflicted guilt at being a Terrible Person for dancing on the proverbial grave of another human being. 


If I was a Really Good Person, I wouldn't feel so happy that this proselytizing Mr. Potato Head is getting (at least 15 minutes worth) of his much-deserved comeuppance.

Good thing I'm not a Really Good Person, so I'm allowed to love this!
 

The fact that a dangerous moral absolutist and total hypocrite is being forced to choke on his own false piety is just too rich for words. To say nothing of the way in which he, his whole family, and TLC's crisis P.R. team keep referring to his victims as "teenage mistakes."
 

Wow.
 

I wonder if the five little girls he sexually assaulted with his father's knowledge for over a year prior to reporting the assaults to authorities would agree with that characterization? Or I wonder if Trayvon Martin, who was walking home with a bag of Skittles, just made a "mistake?"

Hahaha. Of course not.

After all, this is America. Where being young, black, male, and walking home with Skittles is a capital offense, and being young, white, male, "Christian" and a serial pedophile is a "teenage mistake." A teenage mistake, by the way, that gets you your own reality TV show, a million dollar payday, and the benefit of a statute of limitations that rewards the non-reporting of rape and molestation (or, as you call it, a "wrong road"), thereby allowing you to evade punishment and meaningful remorse forever.
 

'Murica!

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