Saturday, August 29, 2015

10 Excuses That Only Work in Alaska, and 6 That Don't

I was born and raised in New York City, so I especially appreciated a piece I read in Time Out New York called "21 Excuses That Only Work in New York," most of which I agree with and can relate to.

But I've lived in Alaska for 10 years, so this article got me thinking: What kinds of excuses only work in Alaska? And what kinds don't? Here are a few:

Excuses That Work:

1. I need to take the day off from work today. The sun is out. (Southeast only).
2. I need to take the morning off from work today. It's a powder day.
3. Sorry I'm late, I hit a moose.
4. Sorry I'm late, I forgot to plug in my car last night and it wouldn't start. (Anywhere but Southeast).
5. Sorry I'm late, I had to dig out my car.
6. Sorry I'm three hours late. The plane had a mechanical.
7. Sorry I'm three days late. Some weather came in.

8. Sorry to cancel our plans. Someone invited me out on their boat.
9. Sorry I didn't respond to your text/call/email. I was out of cell range.
10. Sorry I'm late. Obama. (August 31, 2015 only).

Excuses That Don't Work
1. I didn't realize it was a potluck.
2. It's raining/snowing too hard.
3. I don't have the gear for that.
4. I left my garbage out.
5. Sorry I'm late, I was stuck in traffic (Anywhere but Anchorage).
6. But I don't like bluegrass.

1 comment:

  1. This made me laugh! I'll add a short one that is open ended but anyone that knows will give a pass on just about anything that could happen after: "I'm in Dutch" or better, "I'm in Atka on my way to Dutch." One is absolved of any responsibility whatsoever after these incantations. This, from a guy that spent some serious time in the Elbow Room on my way back....


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