Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Local Hero Visits Mendenhall Glacier with Three Cruise Ships in Town

May is the start of cruise ship season, which means most Juneau locals avoid the Mendenhall Glacier Visitor Center like an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet crawling with Norovirus. 

But not local hero Adam Smith, who decided to bravely go where no other Juneauite is willing to go: the Mendenhall Glacier Visitor Center with three cruise ships in town.

“I’m not sure why I thought this would be a good idea,” mumbled Mr. Smith under his breath. Along with his wife and three children, Mr. Smith was spending a sunny weekend afternoon circling a crowded parking lot and dodging enormous coach buses until he finally found a space three-quarters of a mile down the Glacier Spur Road.

Nevertheless, Mr. Smith persisted like the Superman he is.

“Look! It's even smaller than it was three weeks ago on our class field trip!,” shouted Cody, Mr. Smith’s ten year-old son, as he briefly glanced up from his iPhone game of Candy Crush Saga. 

The child’s lament caught the attention of a newlywed couple dressed in brand new poly-pro pants and never-before-worn hiking boots, as well as three young women in strappy sandals and tight-fitting sweaters speaking a foreign language. German, maybe?

At that point, Mr. Smith made a mental note that the tourists were curiously both under and over-prepared for the mostly paved excursion into the bleak abyss of climate change, and to the well-appointed visitor center that is so clearly trying to make the gradual and inevitable vanishing of its star attraction seem less depressing than it is.

“I don’t get it,” Mr. Smith said shaking his head. “It was so much less crowded last week. I’m never doing this again during cruise ship season, no matter how nice of a day it is.”

Mr. Smith's heroism did not go unnoticed by local officials, who are considering awarding him a civic medal for his bravery.

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