Friday, November 25, 2016

Heathers Meets the Fourth Reich

I fucking hope this is true, because I HEART IT SO HARD! 

This is like the movie Heathers mixed with the Hunger Games, set in a future primitive 1933 Berlin.

Trump is gonna make Mitt Romney (played by an aging Christian Slater) publicly grovel for a spot in his cabinet!

BWAHAHA! Please please please--if there is a just God, His Holiness will permit this to occur.

Trump is Heather #1, and I picture him saying "Lick it up baby, lick. It. Up," while Mitt lies in a puddle of his own sick.

A public apology seems so uncreative for a giant, CGI alpha man-toddler with the face of a desiccated mandarin orange and the soul of Chuckie from Child's Play. 

I think Trump should make everyone who wants a spot on his team and who ever said a bad word about him do an elaborate frat boy hazing ritual. That way they can be humiliated and prove their loyalty all at once.

Like Chris Christie would need to walk around with an olive in his ass cheeks, Lindsay Graham would have to teabag* Paul Ryan, and Guiliani (Heather #2) would be permitted to beat Ted Cruz with a wooden paddle on the Washington Mall in front of a high school tour group.

Yay for the White Frat House!

*Dangle your balls over the mouths of other pledges.

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