Thursday, February 11, 2016

The Person Making Decisions in the City of Cleveland Simply Must be Satan's Fuckboy

That is the one and only possible explanation for the City of Cleveland's decision to BILL THE FAMILY OF DECEASED 12 YEAR-OLD TAMIR RICE $500 FOR AN AMBULANCE 

You know, the very same ambulance that arrived on the scene after two Cleveland police officers shot and killed Tamir--an unarmed child--literally two seconds after finding him with a toy gun and upon hardly stopping their patrol car. And the bill was ITEMIZED!: $10 each for the five miles to the hospital where he later died; and $450 for advanced life support. The only thing missing is the cost of the bullets. 

Whoops! Someone forgot that. 

To say this takes balls--needless to say--is a grievous understatement. Really there are no words for the gall of this, but even where there are no words, I often try to provide some. And the only two appropriate words are . . . SATAN'S FUCKBOY! 

That simply MUST be who made this decision. 

According to the above-linked New York Times article, "officials told local television stations that the bill had been generated automatically and that they were withdrawing the claim." Well that's good, at least. But I don't buy the "automatically generated" line of bullshit for a second.

I mean, I haven't been a lawyer for over ten years or anything. Except wait, actually I have. And I don't get how you "automatically generate" a small claims/probate LAWSUIT!? Especially against the estate of a child whom your own city's police officers murdered under extremely shady circumstances? 

Sure, maybe the bill itself was "automatically generated," but surely SOME human being let this go out the door and end up in a court where Cleveland told a judge that the family of a child the city itself murdered was into it for $500 bucks. You don't just "automatically generate" something like that. A human being has to be involved somewhere along the line.

And again, that human being simply had to be sucking Satan's dick on the regular. Truly. That's the only possible explanation for how something like this could happen.

AP Photo

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