1. Denial: This can't be happening. How can this be happening? All the polls said she would win. Common sense and decency said so! Also the internet. And memes. There were so many good meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemes. Seriously?! Why God, WHY!?!!?
2. Anger: Oh my God. We live in a country full of neo-Nazi fascists who want me and my family dead. These people will lynch my friends from a tree. Holy shit. We're all going to a concentration camp and getting hanged and raped by the KKK. We're being driven over the precipce by an incompetent sociopath! He's going to nuke us all in the first 100 days in a giant mushroom cloud of hairspray and atomic warfare. Fucking third party voters man. Fucking Jill Stein! FUCK ALL Y'ALL!!! I'M MOVING TO CANADA!!!! WE ARE BIGLY FUCKED DOWN HERE!
3. Bargaining: Maybe it will be okay. I mean, how much damage can one pussy-grabber do? Maybe he's a really nice guy and he was bluffing this whole time about the walls and the deportations and all of that. Maybe by some freak of nature chance he really WILL make America great again? He's all bark and no bite, right? I mean, how bad can it really be? I am totally over-thinking this and we will all be FINE. Life will go on!
4. Depression: Oh God. What's the point? I might as well just drive off a cliff and swallow ten bottles of Oxy and Prozac. This is SAD and an UNBELIEVABLE DISASTER. Seriously, might as well pull a Sylvia Plath and stick my head in the oven. At least marijuana and assisted suicide did well down-ballot, because I could use both right now.
5. Acceptance: Alright fine. It's going to be okay. I can't fight it, I might as well prepare for a President Trump. Trump in the gold-plated White House. Here we go.