Thursday, July 14, 2016

"Pokemon Go" Offers Unique Opportunity for People to Walk Around Staring Down at Their Phones Some More

If you're anything like me, you spend a lot of time, though clearly not enough time, staring down at your phone while walking around (not to mention sitting, waiting, or lying around). 

You stare down at your phone when you're walking to the bus station or to your car. You stare down at your phone while you're walking to get coffee. You stare down at your phone while you're walking to pick up your kids from school. You stare down at your phone while you're walking for exercise. You stare down at your phone while you're putting one foot in front of the other more or less anywhere on earth that your feet can touch the ground and physically convey the rest of your body from one set of geographical coordinates to another.

And that's perfect, because Pokemon Go--a new virtual reality game that uses your smart phone's GPS feature to let you capture, battle, and train cute little monsters at designated locations in the real world--is now giving everyone with a smart phone more of what they need: another reason to stare down at their phone while walking around.

It gets pretty boring walking around and just staring down at Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. And staring down at your email feed is a pain in the ass because inevitably, you're going to have to deal with some bullshit in there. Also, there are only so many times you can stare down at the photos of that wedding you went to last weekend, or at videos on YouTube. 

So needless to say, it's a big relief that you can now stare down at little cartoon critters and zap/collect them on your way to the aforementioned locations, or even new locations that you've never seen before, and won't see now, because you're still staring down at your phone.

Sure you might walk into traffic, smack into someone, or step off a cliff, but pretty soon none of that will matter because the human eyeball will evolve to become integrated into the smart phone, and the upper two vertebrae will fuse together in the "iHunch" position, to better accommodate the human instinct to walk around while staring down at a phone.

But that's still hundreds if not thousands of years away, so you might as well be an early adopter and start playing Pokemon Go today. I know I will!



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