Monday, January 25, 2016

What Do My/Our Google Searches Say About Me/Us?

So this is actually a kind of amazing thing I did last night after my kids went to sleep, 'cause I'm a total baller.

A fascinating and well-worth-your-time time waster is to type the first three words of a question into Google and see what comes up. I don't know jack about tech, so I don't know how this works, but I assume it's not always the same for everyone. In other words, I assume Google has your proverbial number, somehow, in that Big Brother way it has of knowing what you are curious about. 

However, I REALLY hope I'm wrong, because THIS is what happened when I typed the following one to three word "question" words into Google:

Is it Normal . . . 
To miss a period?
To poop blood?
To have discharge?
To bleed during pregnancy?
To talk to yourself?

Is it Abnormal . . .
To have no friends?
To urinate every hour?
To talk to yourself?
To bleed between periods?

Why Do I . . .

Have diarrhea?
Pee so much?
Crave salt?
Love you?
Waste so much time?

How Can I . . . 
Keep from singing?
It be?
Make money?
Investors receive compounding returns?

Where Is . . .
My refund?
The super bowl?
Cam Newton from?

Is there . . .
School today?
DNA in sweat?
A garland Alaska?
Life on Mars?

Who is ...
Kylo Ren?
Credited with the creation of plainsong?

What is ...
My IP?

Why Cant' I . . .
Find a job?

Why Can I . . .
Not sleep?
See the moon during the day?
Feel my heartbeat?
Not poop?

Why Do I Always . . .
Feel tired?
Have gas?
Feel hungry?
Have to pee?

Why Do I Never . . . 
Get sick?
Feel full?
Feel hungry?
Want to have sex?

Will I Ever . . .
Find love?
Be happy?
Be good enough?
Get a boyfriend?

Will I Never . . .
Get married?
Find a job?
Ever find love?
Hear from him again?

When Will I . . .
It Snow?
See you again?

When Should I . . .
Wake up?
Take a pregnancy test?
Take creatine?
Take the GRE?

How Often Should I . . .
Work out?
Rotate my tires?

Why Should I . . .
Hire you?
Drink water?

Should I . . .
Upgrade to Windows 10?
Stay or go?
Remove it?
Get a flu shot?

Why Shouldn't . . .
Minimum wage be raised?
I die?
We hire you?
School start later?

Do I Have . . .
To file taxes?

How Come . . .
I'm dead?

If in fact these are generalized Google search responses, my sense of relief in life just went through the roof. If not, I'm back to square one.

Image result for google images

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