The latest buzz in journalism is actor Sean Penn's controversial 10,000 word article and interview in Rolling Stone with the kingpin of Mexico's infamous Sinaloa cartel, Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, a.k.a. the guy who makes Pablo Escobar look like a frat bro at SUNY Binghamton who swings dime bags for pizza money. The circumstances surrounding the interview of Mexico's most wanted fugitive by Madonna's ex-boyfriend were sketchy to say the least, but O.H.M. has obtained EXCLUSIVE interview Q&A notes NOT provided to Rolling Stone.
SP: Are you familiar with my movie, Fast Times at Ridgemont High?
EC: No sir, I cannot say I know this film.
SP: I played Spicoli. He was a very famous character, famous for phrases like "Aloha Mr. Hand," and he was a big fan of pizza--
EC: Ah yes, now I know of what you speak. Spicoli. He liked to smoke the poppy--the marijuana? I watched this film dubbed, as a child in my village.
SP: I'm very flattered and humbled by that. How about Mystic River or Dead Man Walking?
EC:? I'm sorry, sir?
SP: Those were two other movies I made. Two of MANY. Highly acclaimed by film critics in the United States.
EC: Ah, I see. I never thought of watching too many films. There are no films in prison. It's very boring! [Laughs].
SP: That's too bad, because I Am Sam was really spectacular. I was nominated for an Oscar for my role in that film.
EC: Ah! This film I have seen! It is the one where you play, how you say . . . un retardado?
SP: [Laughs]: Well, that's not really what we call it in the States anymore, with all due respect. But yes, I play a man with a developmental disability opposite Michelle Pfeiffer. Got my third Oscar nomination for that.
EC: Oscar . . . I do not know a man by this name. But Michelle Pfeiffer! This woman I do know. Very, VERY beautiful woman.
SP: Yes, yes she is. And I know. [Laughs]. I have been with many, MANY beautiful and famous women. Madonna, Scarlett Johansson, Robin Wright, Jewel, Charlize Theron. I like the blondes--blondes have more fun. Don't believe anything they say though, they're all liars. Probably like a lot of the people you deal with, and I'm certain the women you've been with as well. You know women. Always lying, defaming you, always wanting something from you. In any event . . . are you familiar with my work in Haiti?
EC: No sir, my work is in Mexico only. I know nothing of Haiti.
SP: That's too bad. I've done some really, really spectacular humanitarian work in Haiti. Also in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. Also in Pakistan. So, SO much good work...