Sunday, September 11, 2016

Please "Never Forget-Splain" 9/11 to Me

Oh hiiiiiii random strangers on the Internet from Wisconsin and Florida or wherever you live!

Thank you for reminding me again why never to go online on the anniversary of 9/11/01. On the one hand, I like to, because it's therapeutic. On the other hand, it's just an invitation for you to "Never Forget-splain" 9/11 to me and other people who were actually there.

Although most of you were in second grade in Indiana at the time, I remain ever grateful you are here to question my patriotism and tell me that 9/11 was an inside job and/or suggest that I should never forget something that traumatized me, my hometown, and lots of other people forever.

Also, please tell me again how no planes actually hit the twin towers, since my eyes and those of thousands of other people who were there clearly deceived us.

And don't forget the most important part: PLEASE Never Forget-splain immigration, foreign policy, the war on terror, and why I should have an eagle super-imposed on an American flag as my profile pic. If I say "you win," does that mean the terrorists won? Or just you, finally?

Year after year, you never fail to Never-Forget splain September 11, and for your ceaseless fount of knowledge and information and explanations I remain forever in your debt. 

Until next year, Never Forget-splainers! I will miss you!

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