Thursday, January 28, 2016

The Ultimate B.o.B. Conspiracy Theory Rap

Based on B.o.B.'s diss track, Flatline, which he dropped this week on Neil deGrasse Tyson and in which he argues the earth is flat.

[VERSE 1]:

Yo, you ain’t heard the truth
I’m a motherfuckin’ science sleuth
The government--they cover shit up
You like a baby, drinkin’ their bullshit from a sippy cup
Yeah, I said it: the earth is FLAT!
What? You think I’m crazy like a shit-house rat?
Aye, Neil Armstrong never walked the moon
That shit was staged up at the studio where they filmed Dune!
Aye, I’m over here givin’ you the X-files
Come on over, over, over for a little while
Aye, I don’t care what you say
9/11 was an inside job like JFK
If they weren’t coming for me then
They coming for me now
I can’t even tell you
Evolution like the Brooklyn Bridge they tryna sell you
Professors get off my dick and prove that AIDS
Wasn’t created by the muthafuckin’ CIA
Woo, use your, use your eyes and ears for once
Roswell aliens and air force at Area 51 chillin,' rollin’ blunts!
I said the Holocaust never happened, so what bruh?
Shakespeare was a bitch and Hitler faked his own death, so?

Science, science
It’s a secret alliance
Science, science
You got me once, but now I’m defiant!

Lies, lies, all of it lies
Do I give a fuck? It’s time to recognize
Physics, chemistry, biology, what is it?
These cats with PhDs think they “evidence” the shiznit

People with degrees say the climate is warmin' up?
I guess that's why a blizzard just last week came stormin' up?
Hypnotized by something called the scientific method
You write a thesis then you think you intrepid?
Fuck you and your oral exam panel, you gonna be neglected
They stressed, cause they know science is crazier 
Than Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Do your homework on Paris and Princess Diana
Look it up: she didn't crash, her limo's tailpipe got stuffed with a banana.

Science, science
It’s a secret alliance
Science, science
You got me once, but now I’m defiant!

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