Saturday, December 16, 2017

I Wrote a Goodbye Poem to the 7 Banned CDC Words

Goodbye, sweet VULNERABLE
You've made us uncomfortable
You're helpless and fragile and meek 
You describe populations
Condemned to damnation
By Trump every day of the week.
And so long, ENTITLEMENT
We now feel ambivalent
Toward your programs and duties and rights 
The government sucks!
Full of snowflakes and cucks
But my hedge fund will soar like a kite.

And sorry, DIVERSITY
For all this adversity
But we like things to be just the same
All white male and Christian
That's Jesus Christ's mission!
So we'll find some brown druggies to blame.

And FETUS, my friend
You're a means to an end
A baby, we'd rather you be
We sure hate your uterus
This isn't so new to us
But Viagra? Well that will be free.

You are not in good taste
Einstein and Newton be damned
Science is lies
(Or at best has "two sides")
And so you are forever banned.

The fact must be faced
That the truth is a fungible thing
We can't say there's evidence
But we can murder elephants
Oh it's good to have Trump for our King!

Bon voyage, dear TRANSGENDER
Your mysterious splendor
Was too much for our bean-brains to take
We'll say you don't exist
And we'll write up a list
Of banned words, and make news that is fake.

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