A is for Asswipe which clearly he is
B is for Bros there are lots in his biz
C is for Can you believe he's this dumb?
D is for Definitely Dumb as a Drum
E is for Everyone fooled by his tale
F is for Failure on a staggering scale
G is for Gold sure he's nabbed a few medals
H is for Hella big balls and back-pedals
I is for Idiot when words pass his lips
J is for "JEAH!," (that's his signature quip)
K is for Kicks that he does in the pool
L is for Lochte is Lookin' the fool
M is for Mendacious (a pretty big word!)
N is for No one's believing this turd
O is for OH NO HE DIDN'T JUST LIE!?
P is for Please kiss your sponsors goodbye
Q is for Questions he can't quite reply
R is for Rio which told him NICE TRY!
S is for Stupid (and privileged and white)
T is for "Tantics"--he's slightly un-bright?
U is for Underwhelmed by his robbery yarn
V is for Very big horse out that barn
W is for When Will his P.R. Woes end?
X is for X is the date there, my friend!
Y is for YOLO, you only live once!
Z is the grade the world's giving this dunce.